Running away from safety. . . I used to wonder why anyone would run away from what is safe, secure and comfortable. And yet, here I am today doing exactly that - running away from safety!
Being safe is good, but stagnant after a while. I just feel that it's the easy way out coz until you take some risk, you aren't really going to achieve much. Until you break out of the comfort zone you live in and do something that scares you, how are you going to learn anything at all?!
Sometimes solutions seem so easy and. . . well, safe! But that's exactly why they won't work. There's a difference in a thing being simple and easy. Simple is not necessary easy. But isn't 'easy' just a perception as well?
Safety is what I've always believed in, what I've been doing all my life. But I don't think that safety is satisfying right now. Feel like breaking apart everything present in my world. . . everything! Even in love, loving someone is a risk. It's running away from safety, in a way. Who knows if the other person will love you back? Who knows if it's going to work? Who knows how it's going to affect your life? Who knows anything at all?!
Everything that has a beginning has to have an end. So, eventually everything ends right? Or is that just an illusion we harbour and actually everything stays but just gets transformed into something else? Does love have an end? Or does it just change into something else? Do we ever die? Our bodies go back to the earth that sustained them. Our soul never really had a physical definition on earth anyway so I believe it lives on. So what changes? What remains constant? About running away from safety, is any place safe at all? Or is any place unsafe at all?
Gosh, I feel like I've got all the opposites of the world inside me and yet, they aren't fighting over which is more powerful! They're co-existing! I'm not too sure if that makes me into an extreme person or a balanced one. True enough, I usually don't freak out and even when I do, people don't really get to know! Well, most of them anyway!
So yeah, a lot of things going on in my mind. Besides the usual practical to-do-list. Thinking about 'energy' and how it isn't created or destroyed. Just transformed! Read a book and since then, I'm feeling like I'm a part of everything in this cosmos! This body didn't appear out of thin air, so it's made up of things from all over the world. Water travels everywhere, in fact, everything in the world is so connected that it's just impossible to imagine it to not be 'one'! I'm a part of everything and everything is a part of everything else. I was never born and I will never die. I'll just transform into something else eventually.
There's a flame that's burning inside me that makes me love everyone and everything on this earth. No, not the emotional way [that's just a few people! ;)] but in a whole, complete and accepting sort of way! Coz, I'm supposed to love myself right? And if the whole world is a part of me, I guess I should love it all too! :D
Hehe, something in me seems to have broken free today. [possibly I'm just fighting off the fever! ;)] Love seems to engulf everything [yes, even though am veryyy irritable with fever!] and everything seems to be a part of something else!
And yeah, I think I do still believe in love, the emotional type. Somewhere in my heart, that flame is still there!
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