Not People-ish!

I'm not feeling people-ish again. Perhaps that's just how I am.

Sometimes it's amusing how my phone doesn't ring the whole day sometimes, and the most messages I get are from Facebook. And sometimes, it matters and makes me sad.

But usually, it's ok. Perhaps I am just accepting the changes and the consequences that come along with it. Or perhaps this is the way I am, and being people-ish was just something I did because I was supposed to (of course, I loved it while it lasted and I miss every single one of them).

I don't really know why it's 'ok' so many times in my life. I mean, come onnn, am I not supposed to feel some uncontrololable emotion and go crazy because everything's changing? It makes life feel bland. Perhaps I am just able to keep control over what I'm feeling and able to persuade myself about what to feel. I'm glad I can, but sometimes I wish I didn't. It's only rare when I react impuslively or can't keep a check over it all. I don't like it. I want to be impulsive and crazy and wild. I don't like this, it feels like a watered down version of me.

Oh well, this is a journey to discover who I am. Perhaps I will someday. And find a balance, and the people who are able to break that balance of mine :) :)