The Girl Effect!

I liked it! Do check it out! :)

Relationships??

Sooo. . . why are people into relationships?

I mean, as I look around and see people living everyday in a dead relationship, I wonder if they get anything from it at all. Is it just a compromise? Are people together only because the external situations force them to? Or because they don't have the courage to put their foot down and put an end to it? Or do they honestly believe that there's still something that they can gain or change in the relationship and make it better?

I see people who are bound together in a relationship. Not because they want to, but because they have to! Like, really, shouldn't love be the ONLY reason that two people are together? Shouldn't they need and desire each other simply because of the love? Should they try to be together for any other reason except love? If that's so, then why are they even in a relationship? I think it's more like a compromise then. I mean, why have relationships transmuted into such superficial things. Where is the love and where is the life? Life should become more vibrant with that special someone, but if it starts to take you away from who you are, and make every living day a misery, then it just isn't worth it!

Once a relationship dies, when the love ceases to exist, then why do people try to hold it together? Especially when they know that they're better off on their own? And I'm not talking about temporary ups and downs, I'm talking about things that cause permanent damage! That permanently scar the relationship and make both the people suffer! Why, or rather how could people do this?

Sometimes, when I see the way these people live and try to cope up, I'm happy that I'm not in a relationship. But then, I think again and realize that I would probably be very different from what they are in it. I wouldn't be someone who would smother the other person, or who would quietly sit and let the other person walk all over me. I'm not the kind who would cheat on someone or stand it if the other person cheated on me either. In all honestly, all I would really want from the ideal relationship is love and honesty. And that's a pretty tall order no? Coz it involves everything a person could want! But what the heck, I'm pretty happy being single! Esp when I look at these people! The unwavering trust I always had seems to waver these days!

So yeah, I'm still wondering why and how people stay in a relationship from which the love has gone!

Life is wonderful!

I think this is one of the very few songs that really make me happy and smile each time. . It makes me believe even when I feel sad and despair.
It's the song that makes me believe and hope that yes, life is wonderful!

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a storey
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying. . .

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
And it takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
And it takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
And it takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to HAVE it polished

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound
And it takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to MAKE a mountain

Ah la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la life is meaningful
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la life is meaningful

Hope? Despair?

Hope?
Are we supposed to live in hope or realize that there's no point in hoping anymore and should just come to terms with despair in life?

What does one do when one is forced to accept an unacceptable situation that they reallyyyy cannot change! Despite their efforts and changes in mindsets, if nothing works, then what does one do? What does one do if it breaks their heart to see the situation get worse each day?

How does one accept the unacceptable and still say that life is wonderful and believe it?! How can a person go through each day with misery and helplessness, knowing they can't do much about it anyway? What if they can't change their mindsets about it either? What does a person do when they don't have the strength to hope anymore? When hope seems to have been extinguished like a candle. . .

Is a person still supposed to hope in a hopeless situation or should they lay down all defenses and come to terms with the despair that permeates their life? I could hope, I know I can. But I wonder if I still should. Is it worth hoping once more for something I know I can't do anything about? Something that I can't really live with, but haven't ever been able to change? Should I hope for something that has never even borne the slightest result till now? Should I hope for life being 'perfect'? Coz that's the only problem that I'm facing that disturbs me. Any other issue is a part of life and I can live with. Any other problem is a challenge and makes life more wonderful and perfect with the experiences. . . But THIS? What do I do about this? I can't change it. I can't accept it. I can hope. . but should I? Dare I hope once again or should I just sit dispassionately and let life run it's course while I continue to do whatever I can without letting it affect me? Coz I know I won't stop doing whatever I can to make it work, but I also know that it's going to hurt if it doesn't work. Should I be dispassionate about it and not let it affect me, or should I still hope? Most of the actions would remain the same, it's the state of mind that I can't seem to be able to decide upon.

Does a person continue to hope in such a scenario? Or should I shut out that part of my heart, never to let anyone get close enough to know about it ever again? Keep it buried so deep that the hope dies and I can live with quiet surrender to it all. . ?

I'm such an emotional, sentimental fool sometimes! :S

Searching for a relationship with love.

Feeling like a star-struck, idealistic kid in love!

Thinking of 'interesting perspectives' on love, life and some people [yeah, those quotation marks aren't for everyone to understand, just 1 person!]

I know my heart's full of love, I just don't know if I am in love! The feeling is simple, very simple, it's just that the situation isn't.

Everything feels very idealistic sometimes, perhaps I am idealistic sometimes. But randomness seems to be the only thing ideal in life too.

It seems like everything has a meaning hidden from me. Every look, every second that a gaze lasts longer than it should, every nuance, every touch seems to mean more than it probably should. Probably I'm over-analyzing. And yeah, tonight is the night I decide to give up. Nope, I'm not a quitter, I just know when it's time to let go. At least, I believe it's time. Hadn't even thought of giving up till I wrote it down. Perhaps it's a sign that I should.

Holding on to something that doesn't exist stops something that does exist from manifesting! When you surrender something, you automatically gain something, even though you may not see it then.

Right now, it seems like everyone around me is in love, or at least has a special someone, or at least a person they can say that they're in love with. Me? Well. . . perhaps it's time for a journey with myself. To discover what my relationship with love is. Nah, not to find out what love is. . that's not something that a person has to find out! Love just is, and it's just felt.
The journey maybe, or just get time off to do other things that I've thought of doing for a long time! Like studying [hah!], reading, doing up my room and a zillion other things!
It's time to let go, coz by holding on, I'm stopping the energy flow.

Especially since where I'm trying to hold on is already in love with 'someone else'. Gosh, those dreaded words. . sigh. . . [note: melodrama!].

So yeah, now I've got a warm, fuzzy feeling within me that's a bit love-ish and rather happy-ish. But it's also a sad one. Umm. . . teary at least! ;)

Perhaps I should try to be a cynic towards love for a while. Maybe one needs to be a cynic sometimes to be able to appreciate something. Perhaps I will. . . and it doesn't mean that won't believe in love! Can't live like that. ;)

It's sort of weird to feel cynical and love-ish at the same time though. . . It feels like I'm looking at a mystical world through rose tinted glasses and know that I don't belong there. And somehow, somewhere in my heart, I know that what I'm seeing is not what love actually is. Love doesn't have to be a different world, it becomes everything that's already there in yours. It doesn't need rose tinted glasses to look beautiful, it already is beautiful! Love never has to be anything, it just is!

Gonna live the simplest feeling in my life. . . and gonna give love a chance to happen once more in my life.

It takes no time at all to fall in love, and it takes years for someone to know what love is!

Politicians? Blaah. . . people!

Why on earth do people blame the politicians and the system for making India the way it is now? For the Mumbai siege?! If they were sooo concerned, why didn't they vote for the right person? And if they thought there wasn't any right person, then why didn't they stand up?!

I mean come onnnn! Most of the people who are pointing fingers at the politicians aren't even fulfilling their duties as citizens and living a non-corrupt and proactive life! If they make huge mistakes, it won't affect the whole country, but if a politician messes up, it will! They have to maintain a zillion contacts and think of the country as a whole. . . and if people think that there aren't any non-corrupt people to choose from, then they should transform the country! Before saying that they're the ones responsible, I think people should look inwards and see whether they have done anything to change it!

Why do people realize all this only in times of crisis? Why don't they say anything when elections take place? Why does India 'unite' when threatened? Why doesn't it always stay like that?!

Also, how could people blame Pakistan like that?! It's terrible to accuse a whole nation for it. I'm sure the govt didn't order the siege and that the common people didn't vote on it! If there's a small group that's from another country (say) and attacks another nation, how could you possible blame the whole of their nation?! They're just a fraction of that nation's representatives. I've personally met people from Pak and they've been delightful and religiously very tolerant and culturally sensitive! It's terrible to see statements like 'ab kahan bach ke jayega Pakistan?' being shouted and people condemning an entire nation! An entire nation where the common person is no different than ours. Where there may be terrorism as well!

It's sad to see that people gather up the courage to question the politicians and not have a very good track record themselves! It's sad to see that they haven't done much to make it a better place either. . just been too busy making their own lives. If the country needs to change, WE need to change it. Politicians aren't our parents who come and ask us what we did each day. . .
It's us who need to grow up and accept and learn to celebrate diversity rather than condemn it. It's us who need to grow up and look around. . it's us who need to clean up the system and make the country a better place to live in!

-

Negative!

World AIDS Day!

Had an awesome day today! It's World AIDS Day, and DT-X had an event - Red Ribbon Freedom in the morning, and a candlelight vigil - Red Ribbon Light in the evening. Ooo. . and I was a compeer in the morning! :P Haven't ever spoken onstage as such, so it was quite an interesting experience. Especially since I did not get nervous despite so many people! :)

Evening was candle light vigil, human chain, and HIV testing. It was a lil freaky to get tested for HIV. . I guess it's the nervousness each person who gets tested would go through. After all, there's no symptom that would tell me if I have HIV, or if some incident had caused it! It wasn't the needle that scared me, it wasn't the little amount of blood; it was the fact that no1 on this earth can say for sure that they are HIV negative! And I think it's something that everyone should do. Get tested for HIV so that they know what kind of thoughts go through a person's mind. So that they know they are equally vulnerable. So that they don't discriminate a person who is living with HIV. The result comes tomorrow. I'm positive that it'll be negative. But it's a wait that brings a lot of thoughts to the mind. A lot of what-ifs. And more than the virus, I think it's the society and stigma that would make a person feel afraid of it. And the precise reason they wouldn't want to interact with an HIV + person, with the fear that they may get it and live a similar life as well. So here I am, waiting. . . Result comes tomorrow, and till then I think how a person living with HIV would feel. . . what it would be like and what this one test could mean for so many people. . . .

Well well well. . seeing an interesting side of myself. It's like nothing can make me feel upset or sad right now! I mean, yeah, there are sad things that are somewhere at the back of my mind, but there are other really happy things which are more upfront!
Everything in the world seems possible and do-able! Like, it may not be the right thing to do, or the right time to do it, or I may simply not wanna do it, but it isn't impossible! Nothing is!
Feeling highly inspired right now to go ahead and do the impossible. . and something tells me that this feeling is here to stay. . . for a long long longgg time! :)